Well, a couple have months have went by since I wrote, and growth continues to happen. Through setbacks, weird health issues, anger and frustration, there has also been joy, laughter, and increased faith. So we're calling it a win!

On my mind today? Many things. The success and happiness of my children, world peace, changing the world one heart at a time...sounds like a mountain doesn't it? And when we want to move mountains, where do we turn? God. Simple answer. But it's not an easy task sometimes. 

When we fall from the pedestal the world puts us on, we lose faith in ourself. Why is that? Because we are listening to the WRONG PEOPLE. We are so busy trying to do what the world expects-be the best-at our job, at parenting, being fit, trendy, and all the while, we are EXHAUSTED. When we value others opinions of us, we fail every time to meet the expectation. We are human. We make mistakes. And taking those mistakes, confessing them to God, and working on being who He designed is a good start. Listening, instead of talking. Praying instead of complaining. Taking action.

Too many times, we complain about our town, coworkers, family, friends, spouse, kids....the list goes on. And what does that accomplish? Do you feel better when you talk badly about others? Does it bring you joy? Nope! It allows you to stay stuck in a spot that is familiar. Change is impossible if you resort to the same behavior over and over. You have to take steps to change the pattern. And it starts with YOU.

I have made many poor choices in my life. Giving in to anger, holding grudges, and hurting those closest to me by remaining distant. And that did nothing more than isolate me from everything and everyone. I relied on myself, thinking that I wasn't good enough for God. I felt like I wasn't worth anyone's time or effort, and didn't deserve friendship, love, company...the list goes on. I am not particularly proud of those moments, but they are a very important part of the journey. You see, you have to lay your past to rest, and BELIEVE you are forgiven. That's not something anyone can do for you, you have to do it for yourself. And trust me when I say, dealing with your past is HARD and PAINFUL. Facing what has happened to you, facing the wrongs you have done, and then figuring out how to not go back to the same unhealthy behavior doesn't happen overnight. A wise man once told me "healing isn't linear" and he wasn't wrong. We all have our own paths to travel, but we have an opportunity to help others along the way. My journey has been a bumpy one which defined the strength, determination, and grit that I possess. But doing it alone, I don't recommend. 

I now have a chance to help others not go down the roads I traveled. To make better choices, and to believe in the good of others. You can't assume everyone is bad. You have to open your eyes and heart to the idea that maybe, just maybe, there are a few good ones left who just want to make the world a better place. 

I will say, my healing has just begun, and the journey continues to be a surprising one. But the decision to allow a few folks in the circle was a good one. I have learned to make wiser choices about who is in my circle, who I trust to be there as I am for them.

I can't finish without mentioning that part of this has been letting go-of people who aren't healthy for me, habits that lead to bad decisions, and emotions that serve no purpose. It's hard to let go of the familiar, but if you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing. 

I hope something in this inspires you, touches your heart, or at least lets you know that you are not alone. God is waiting, and He hears you.

#trustyourjourney