Well, a lot has happened in the recent months. I found myself in a darker place than I have ever been. And I wasn't sure if I would come out. I had to face some pretty serious realities in myself, my life, and my "family". And it was more painful than I had ever imagined. I found myself crying, and angry, and quite lost in this world that has become a place I no longer recognize. I was at a loss. I have always been able to "suck it up", "get over it" and "put on my big girl pants". This was ineffective. I questioned everyone around me, and their "angle" in being part of my life. I questioned my own ability to rise every day, and face the world. I no longer believed I could accomplish anything, or reach the goals I had set. And I became stuck.

Now, that being said, I never questioned God, and never quit believing He had a plan for me and my life. I begged for Him to show me the purpose of these particular struggles. What was I supposed to be learning? How did this fit into the plan? What was I missing? And yes, I had a few moments of why me and this isn't fair. Here's the good news. He met me where I was. He sent me people who weren't trying to tear me down. People who loved me in spite of the mess. Amazing humans who actually WANTED to be a part of my life, and part of my journey, no matter how hard. Cool, huh?

I am learning each day, and becoming, once again, the strong woman I was taught to be. It isn't easy, and it is definitely not pretty! I cry, and pray, and get angry. But I also find joy, peace, and inspiration. I am blessed, even when I don't know it, and for that I am grateful. I don't know how long I have on this earth, but what I do know is....I DIDN'T QUIT!! 

So tonight, if you are in a dark place, I will bring a flashlight. If you want to cry, I will sit with you until you feel better. If you feel you don't matter, I am here to tell you, YOU DO. God doesn't make mistakes, and He chose to make YOU, which means you have purpose. He loves you, so you are not alone. And even when you fall short, He waits for you to come to Him for help.

I am far from perfect, and fail Him daily. But I know what it is like to be ready to quit, and find a sign He sent, just for me, at the right moment. 

I will catch up with you all again, so until then, FEAR NOT, BE BRAVE, and GOD BLESS.